The Wisdom of My Mam and Dad

This article is in honour of my mother and father. My parents preferred me to call them Mam and Dad, I will continue to do so in this article.

The wisdom of Dad

"Diarmuid, I know life is very difficult for you now, even though you're only a child, but you will do great things in the future!"
Diarmuid is an ancient Irish warrior name and little else  is known about this ancient name. I have researched this name and the name originated from the Hebrew language yet has been a sacred name in Irish culture usually given to Irish kings, only my Grandad Donovan and my Dad called me by this name.
The name Diarmuid was also the name of a demigod warrior who was reared by the gods. He was also called Diarmuid of the Love Mark due to his attractive appearance, a mark on his face was magical causing any woman to fall in love with him. He had a passionate love affair with Gráinne, she was the lover of another warrior demigod Cu Chulainn.
My bloodline is that of the Deicii, an almost forgotten race, who travelled from Egypt to Ireland and the Rhineland in Germany. The Deicii conquered parts of Ireland bringing the first form of writing to Ireland, which is called Ogham, these symbols were etched on many ancient stone pillars. The Deicii brought early civilisation and art to Ireland. My parents never spoke about this proud heritage and to this day it is a mystery to me why they never spoke about it.

"You can only do your best, son!"
I struggled at school in most subjects except for English and History, almost all of my teachers acknowledged I was a great writer even at a young age, despite my often controversial comments. If teachers maltreated me a visit from my Mam settled the issue, the teachers who treated me unfairly dreaded the threatening encounter with my Mam and they likely never forgot her assertive  "Do not ever treat my son badly again!" and the teacher ceased to punish me. The Head Master, who ran the school, was always my support. A visit to the Head Master was believed by teachers to be a punishment for me but instead I enjoyed the regular visits, he would stop his work and tell me stories of "the true history of Ireland" which was an inspiration for my book Easter Rising 1916 A Family Answers The Call For Ireland's Freedom. The most senior civil servant to President Higgins contributed to the publication. My book was also used in a court battle to defend the street traders of Moore Street in Dublin which is a way of life and not just a way of making money. Ironically the government wished to build a museum to remember the Easter Rising, the failed Irish rebellion against the British, the leader died on  Moore Street.
I spent most of the beginning of my school education either being reported to the Head Master or standing in the corridor which was another intended punishment, however the Head Master would often walk by saying a joke to make me laugh or he would say "Keep up the good work, never be afraid to speak your mind!" I usually express my opinions, especially as I write my books.

"Never involve the gardaí!"
The gardaí, the name for police in Ireland, have a reputation for being police of high regard however this depends on the individual police man or woman. My experiences have been both positive and negative. My father did not involve the police unless he was legally required to do so, he did not trust most gardaí.

"Say nothing until you know more!"
My Dad never says too much, he is what they call in Ireland a "Quiet Man", however if he  did not like a person who would say nothing at all to them. To all people he would not share any personal information until he knew more about who was speaking with him. I knew that if my Dad did not speak much to a person that I should be careful what I say too, though my Dad would usually insist I do not converse with  a person he did not like.

"He must learn the right ways!"
My Dad would often say this to my Mam when they argued over how I was to be raised and how I interact with other people. By this he meant the quality of honor, to be an honourable person. To do what I say I will do, be respectful to others and to keep the promises I make.

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."
This is a saying used often by Irish people which means it is better to appreciate what has been achieved in one`s life than to take a chance on gaining something while risking what has already been achieved. I never really agreed with this, my Dad and I often disagreed on the right approach to life.

"Go slowly Diarmuid, take everything step by step, then there is less need to correct mistakes made."
My Dad wanted me to gradually work toward completing my objectives and not waste time and effort  correcting too many mistakes from rushing.

"See the Plough in the sky! When you go in the right direction you will see that constellation, if you don`t see it you are going in the wrong direction."
This comment made no sense to me at all until the past two years. My Dad and I would go for walks through fields at night, he would point out the Pleiades  Constellation naming it The Plough as the seven stars are in the shape of a plough. He would not speak about anything else in the night sky except The Plough.
 
"Do not criticize your Mam, you have no idea how much she has sacrificed to raise you."
My Dad would not let me treat my Mam badly or argue with her, as if there had been a plan she would be my mother and she agreed to do without what she hoped to achieve in life. Whatever  Mam had sacrificed she was very proud of me and loved me very much, I loved her deeply. My Mam passed away in 2023.

Figure 1 The Pleiades Constellation which aligns with Newgrange the most popular megalithic site in Ireland

Figure 2 Mount Melleray Grotto a favourite religious place of Mam in County Waterford Ireland where she was born 

The wisdom of Mam 

Mam used the same wisdom as Dad except she did not have the same fascination with The Plough. She added very cryptic advice to my Dad`s list of wise comments.

"Be home before dark falls!"
Mam had a fear of me being out at night as she believed most bad things in the world happened during the dark of night.

"Never boil a stew too long as it will lose it`s flavour!"
Stew, an  Irish dish of gravy, beef, potato and vegetables, if overcooked the flavour becomes bland.
Mam was more spontaneous than Dad which was one of her many charming qualities. She believed in surprising people, especially me. What she meant by this was too much thinking or planning about an activity spoils the fun.

"Always wear clean underwear! You never know when you`ll be run over by a car!"
I was never sure what this meant exactly but I agree. I have been in 9 traffic accidents but always wearing clean underwear!
  
"Nothing surprises me anymore!"
Mam had a lot to endure especially when she was raising me.I was not the typical child and she frequently had to visit my schools to defend me from abusive teachers.  For example I was an extroverted introvert so she had to balance the fun we had with knowing when I needed to be quiet and be by myself. I was often seriously sick and she spent so much time frequently nursing me.

"The family is more important than any stranger!"
Mam cherished the welfare of her children and my Dad, often becoming exhausted through her efforts to care for us all. This comment also had an even deeper meaning, we did what we needed to do in my family and anybody who criticized what we did or said was not tolerated by my Dad and particularly not tolerated by my Mam. Mam was very concerned about how I was treated by people outside the family, she often told me "Your human rights are just as important as the rights of others."

"Pray to Saint Anthony!"
Mam believed Saint Anthony to be the most powerful of saints, Saint Padre Pio was also very important to her. Saint Anthony was an Italian saint, the saint of recovering what is lost, this can mean spiritual and emotional losses as well as lost physical objects. Mam was a religious Catholic who went to mass almost every Sunday though she did not force her Catholic beliefs on anybody. She expected her beliefs to be respected, in return she respected the beliefs of others.

"Expect nothing and you will not be disappointed."
Mam did not always achieve her desires, she believed life really did not have much to offer her. My family were sometimes hard work for her as myself and my two sisters were very opinionated. I believe, possibly my opinion seems harsh, that because she had little faith in the power within herself as a human being that this was a self-fulfilling prophecy, she had difficulty in achieving her objectives as she did not have an abundant life. As she became older she did receive much from life. After my parents divorced she became more self-reliant, no longer depending on my Dad, and received much of what she desired.

"We are where we are!"
Mam believed in admitting when she was facing difficulties instead of pretending life was always good. Face the facts and "deal with it" as she often declared, she "took the bull by the horns" and worked towards resolving issues. Even though Mam had not much faith in her own power she was sure God and her saints would help her and it turned out she was right. She eventually had abundance in her life and the respect of many people as she cared for so many others, especially her family.

I know we did not always agree on everything in fact we usually disagreed, both Mam and Dad knew and expected me to have my own ways that would be different to their ways. They both expected and accepted that I am different to others due to my strong creativity, yet continued to love me.

Thank you Mam and Dad, it has been an honor and a blessing to be raised by both of you.

Figure 2 My Dad`s favourite constellation The Plough which also aligns with the most famous megalithic structure of Ireland Newgrange 

About the Author

I am Gabriel Woods the author of nine published books including the popular and positively reviewed The Golden Age Trilogy. I have travelled widely across the globe visiting Australia, India and America. I lived in London and Edinburgh, returning to Ireland and now living happily near the beautiful River Barrow.
I have over 18,000 followers on social media including Facebook, LinkedIn and many other social media. Currently I am researching my next trilogy Divine Magic in Ancient Ireland which has already received a lot of interest, Irish libraries have already agreed to stock the trilogy on their shelves.